The news kept getting worse
as people talked of unemployment
and of property tax
and of the state of the economy.
They called it a recession
and then called it a depression.

So I took my newspaper to the doctor
and he diagnosed my newspaper
with the flu, herpes, and type two diabetes
and he gave me bottles and bottles
of pills and liquids
which I diligently administered
for several months.

Then the economy was just a recession
and the property tax returned to normal
and people starting getting jobs again.
Even the weather improved
and it was sunny every day
except on sunday
when it rained during the afternoon
so the flowers could grow.

But then the news got sick again
even more sick than before
so I took my newspaper back to the doctor
and he diagnosed my newspaper with cancer
and my newspaper died
and the economy stayed depressed forever.